When your ex spoils the kids

When your ex spoils the kids

Article for Only Mums and Dads

In this article, I explore how to handle it when your ex‑partner begins spoiling the children with excessive gifts, uncontrolled privileges or constant indulgence—and how this can shift the dynamics of co‑parenting, your child’s expectations and the stability you’re both trying to build.

I show how this pattern can create tension, confusion and even rivalry in your child’s relationship with each parent: they may start to prefer being with the parent who gives more, feel caught between households with different rules, or grow frustrated when the parent who sets boundaries seems “mean” by comparison.

I walk you through what you can do: communicating calmly with your ex‑partner about maintaining consistent routines, explaining expectations to your children without criticising, and managing the home environment you control so that while you may say “no” more often, you also offer security, presence and predictability.

If you’re in a situation where your ex’s generosity is undermining your own parenting time, your children’s behaviour or your co‑parenting agreement—and you’re unsure how to respond without escalating conflict—this article offers a roadmap to protect your role, your children’s welfare and the balance you’re trying to preserve.

Need help co-parenting with a difficult ex?

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