Article for Only Mums and Dads
In this article, I explore how you can protect your children’s emotional wellbeing when your ex starts bad-mouthing you in front of them. I look at why these comments, even when they seem fleeting, can create confusion, insecurity and loyalty conflicts for your child.
I share how you can respond constructively: by creating a safe, calm space where your children feel heard, reassured and supported. I explain how validating their feelings, reminding them they don’t need to take sides, and helping them form their own understanding can make a powerful difference. I also emphasise why it’s essential not to retaliate or speak negatively about your ex in return — as tempting as it may be — because doing so only increases the emotional burden on your children.
I guide you through how to approach the issue with your ex, when that’s possible, in a child-centred, non-accusatory way. And I touch on what steps you can take if the behaviour becomes persistent, including when to consider seeking professional or legal support.
If your ex is undermining you in front of your children and you’re unsure how to respond without escalating conflict, this article offers a clear and compassionate roadmap to protect your relationship with your children — and their emotional safety.