Article for Only Mums and Dads
In this article, I compare two post‑separation parenting styles—co‑parenting and parallel parenting—and help you decide which approach might best suit your situation.
I explain that co‑parenting involves ongoing collaboration: you and your ex communicate regularly, make decisions together, align your rules and routines, and present a united front for the children. This model offers consistency and security but depends on low conflict and mutual trust.
By contrast, parallel parenting is tailored for higher‑conflict circumstances: communication is minimal and focused only on essential matters, each parent runs their household separately during their parenting time, and detailed plans and boundaries replace frequent interaction. This style reduces tension and protects children from being caught in ongoing disputes.
I highlight the key considerations that help you choose: how well you manage communication, how often tensions flare up, whether you feel safe interacting and how your children respond to handovers or contact between you and your ex.
If you’re trying to establish a parenting strategy after separation and feel unclear about what will truly work for your children and for you, this article offers a nuanced guide to help you select the model that promotes stability, protects wellbeing and reflects the reality of your relationship.